Updated: Dec 31, 2021
There are many words I can use to describe 2021—amazing, transitional, joyful, emotional, chaotic, beautiful—but the word that has been a theme for 2021 and feels as though it will follow me as I move into 2022 is transformative.
Transformative means causing a marked change in someone or something. And ever since the thought that I might be pregnant shimmed through my mind back in January of this year, my entire self began to change.
In 2021, God blessed us—my now boyfriend and best friend of 20+ years, Tyrone—with a healthy baby boy. When I stare into our little one's bright wide eyes, I sometimes can’t recall who I was before he was born. Things that I thought mattered, rarely cross my mind now. Of course I'm still Jennifer, but having a life grow inside of me, shifted me in a way that I wasn't expecting and is very hard to explain. What I do know is that I can't imagine life without our little guy. It's as if he completed something in me that I didn't know needed to be mended.
The other thing I know is that whoever I am becoming during this transformation, there are two things I am working hard to incorporate into my life:
Understanding that everything is temporary
It was the words above (or some version of those words) that were in texts sent to me as I was beginning 19 hours of labor. The contents of those texts got me through hours of pacing the hallway, sitting in the tub, doing squats with Tyrone (to help me dilate) and they surely get me through right now. Being able to accept what was happening as it was happening helped me to bear the pain then and it frees me to deal with life now. When I’m uncertain, frustrated, joyful or whatever the emotion, I realize that it is the reality of that moment and that it’s only temporary.
As I continue to transform into the woman and mother I am supposed to be, I pray that I will graciously accept what comes in 2022, and keep moving onward and upward knowing that emotions, situations, circumstances and even my baby boy’s sleep patterns are temporary. :)
be well, stay safe and cheers to a new year!