The most freeing thing...
I've known for about month now that my company would need to make changes to the workforce due to COVID-19. And last week I got the notice that I was one of the associates who would be affected, or rather let go. At first, I was hurt and emotional but at some point I took a deep breath. And when I woke up the next morning, the tension in my head was gone and I actually felt a sense of relief.
Now don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my job. I worked with this company for almost 16 years and had awesome relationships with many of my colleagues. But as I thought about it, and my mother reminded me, I got my first job at age 15. It wasn't a requirement but I wanted to make my own money. Needless to say, working for someone is so engrained in me that I don't know any other way to exist...until now.
Can a sista get a break?
Not working essentially equates to not making money. As stated, I've been about the business of making money since I was a teenager. That doesn't easily go away. But now that I've been able to wake up and do exactly the things that I love, which is to write and create, I can't imagine doing anything else. And that's been absolutely liberating.
What is the price of this freedom?
The freedom I am experiencing isn't due to not "working." I'm still working. I get up early and write, create and plan how to spend my time. But the freedom I have is due to having "my time" and using it wisely. Don't get me wrong, there's a cost to this. I definitely don't believe in not being able to support myself [that is not an option], but I do feel strongly that when one door closes another one opens. And that I may have needed this nudge to get me out of my comfort zone so that I can fully pursue the things I currently treat as a hobby.
This won't be easy. I'll probably "work" even harder than I was before. But join me and let's see where this journey goes because I am wondrously excited about what is yet to come!