Updated: Mar 15, 2020
On March 1, 2019, I moved to Baltimore and became a single woman all over again...
I'm not gonna lie. When I relocated yet again my emotions were all over the place. I had a touch of anxiety, I was sad and I felt lost. Here I was, months before my 40th birthday and I was no longer seeing the man that I had been for 2+ years. Not to mention the friendship we had built for much longer was gone.
Besides that I was now living in a city I had no clue how to navigate. It was tough. Plus how could I tell anyone that this relationship hadn't worked? I was totally heartbroken but I knew one thing, it was time for me to find me. To regain my confidence and remember who I was: Jennifer Nicole Shannon. It took months for me to get back...and I mean months. But what I learned made the tears and the emotional rollercoaster worth it.
1. Trust my instincts
Truth is I knew long before the break up that it wasn't going to work. I felt something and I saw the signs but I didn't want it to end. Most people find it hard to end a relationship especially one that looks good on paper. And don't get me wrong, for the most part, we had a good relationship but ultimately we weren't aligned.
Sometimes it's nice to know that in the beginning but other times it's learned along the way. What matters to me is that I've decided to trust my gut. My gut, my intuition, my instincts, are all Divine spirits pointing me in the direction I should go. Whenever I've decided to go against that feeling it has shown up...But when I honor it, that's when I experience the most growth.
2. Forget the people
In other words, I had to remember to live doing what brings me joy. This is my life. I don't owe anyone an explanation for my decisions and it really doesn't matter if they agree or don't agree. Everyone has their own life to live. The people who are judging or who have something to say don't matter. Plus most of that judging was in my own head. I was ashamed because I had let myself down. I had to forgive me for all the things I was beating myself up over and keep it moving.
Which brings me to my next point...
3. Get back up...again and again and again
It could be break up number one or number 55...get back up again. As I found myself wallowing in post break up blues, I realized that I was alive and with enough sense to take control of my life. There was nothing I wasn't prepared to do to get back to me.
So that meant, continuing on my writing path, searching for more spiritual truths, experiencing new things and becoming even closer to my family and friends. I had to remind myself that tomorrow isn't promised so by waking up I was blessed with another shot. Another shot to try again, to love again, to be who I am destined to be... again. I know it sounds corny but it's true.
Happy anniversary to me. Plus happy new beginnings, I just went out on a first date... :)