These blogs that I've written over the past few months (this is number 14) are different from my blogs of years before. Now my approach is more intimate and more in-the-moment. But what's it all for? Why am I sharing and being open in this way?
Sometimes I have no clue. It's super uncomfortable to share my emotional self like this and then promote it on social media...(who does that? literally everyone)
But also I graduated with a journalism degree so I have always been inquisitive. Plus my mom recently reminded me that quite simply I ask lots of questions—whys and hows and whats—which according to her may be annoying to guys. Thanks Mom! :)
So why do I do this: question myself and others, and examine and explore and share? Because I can't help myself dammit.
Seriously, I can't help it...It's part of who I am. It's part of this recording I've been doing since we've been quarantined and since I lost my job and since Breonna Taylor and Ahmaud Arbery and George Floyd were killed and daily protest across the nation and my new Covid-19 love and the ending of my new Covid-19 love and even today...
It's exploring my flaws. The ones people can see and the ones people can't see. It is an examining of what is happening in my life and looking at it through the lens of what is happening everyday. It is working on my craft and learning that I must go deeper and be more honest and put more out there. It is everything that makes me a woman and a black woman and a writer and a spiritual being and goofy and annoying and witty and all the things in between.
It is also the many lessons I learn and feel may inspire someone else or help them feel less alone or maybe it'll cause someone to get chuckle or two or think about something in a new way.
I guess this is all I can hope for in a self-portrait—some blemishes, some clarity, smooth and rough edges, eyes that reflect back, a little bit of a mustache, hair that does what it wants not what I tell it—you get the picture...
Stick around as I keep exploring different ways to do this self-examination. It'll be fun and uncomfortable and interesting and entertaining and it'll help you pass the time because we are going to be living and working and schooling in our homes and wearing masks for a long time. Stay safe my friends!