Archive for the ‘For the Reader’ Category
Posted on February 14, 2012 - by jennifer
Happy February 14…
When I received the call asking had I heard about Whitney Houston, I immediately searched the internet and connected with the most reliable source I know: Facebook. 
Then of course I called my mom, my homie, Crystal and then I kind of sat in front of my computer in disbelief. Not because “someone” died but because it was Whitney Houston. It was unexpected. It was scary. It was tragic. I’ve never met Whitney but just as I do with so many others who sing or put their art form and most importantly, themselves, before this critical, judgmental world, I connected with her music. I bonded with something within her and could sing along and loose myself for a few moments. And knowing that she was no longer in this world as we know it, suddenly forced me to retreat to my place of comfort; my computer, my writing, my place of release…
So many others have been lost already in this first two months of 2012. And regardless to what Whitney and others meant to you, it should force all of us to recognize how quickly life can change and be taken away. Most of us take for granted that those we know and love will be here tomorrow, when the truth is, tomorrow’s not promised.
So on this day, this Valentine’s Day, February 14, let’s use it for something other than just showing romantic love…And instead of moping around or being bitter because you don’t have or can’t spend Valentine’s day with a significant other, show love to a child, parent, friend…yourself. Cause isn’t that what Feb. 14 is really about? If we take away all the commercialization this day has garnered over the years, Feb. 14 is all about showing L-O-V-E. Pure and simple…
Besides it’s so much more rewarding and valuable to express and show love to someone while they can still hear and acknowledge your voice.
Happy February 14 Loves! I love you all!
Rest in Peace: Whitney Houston, Etta James, Don Cornelius and so many others…
Be blessed. Stay encouraged. And NEVER loose faith or give up on love! God is LOVE and don’t you forget it…
JNS
Posted on February 1, 2012 - by jennifer
“what, who, when, where, how and sometimes why” by JNS
This is a recitation of one of my original poems entitled what, who, when, where, how and sometimes why…Enjoy and let’s celebrate Black History Month.
JNS
Posted on January 24, 2012 - by jennifer
Still Single? Why? – Finale
Part 3 –
How “good” are you?
Many people think that because you make X amount of $$, have no kids (or have kids that you take care of), a great career, independence, have your own place, etc that you’re classified as good [a good woman/man]… If you want the truth, we are all flawed…Many people have the misconception that if they have certain things then they’re the best thing since sliced bread, when in fact many of these same good people are: disrespectful, physically and mentally abusive, selfish, unloving, insecure, liars, lack family values, judgmental, cheaters, inflexible, and the list goes on and on…No one’s perfect and frankly not everyone is going to deal with “your” issues BUT someone will.
Truthfully, I consider myself as a good woman, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t things I can work on and improve upon so that I can be the best person for my mate. Don’t misunderstand, you’re still good (for the most part ) but don’t think that you’ve got it going on so much that there’s nothing you need to work on because believe me, you do – even those people who are married have some issues they need to work on too!
Why are you single?
I’m not married (never have been but I KNOW about relationships) and being married is still a relationship. If you don’t nurture the relationship the marriage won’t work. There are many reasons for being unmarried and sometimes it has less to do with being good or bad, but has much more to do with life’s choices. Had I made different decisions my life would be different right now however because of my own desires, I chose a route that others may have questioned. But one thing about this life is that it’s MINE. No one else can live it for me. Just like others can’t live yours. Live with the choices you’ve made…if you have regrets, it won’t change the circumstance you are in today so keep it moving…
I’ve always believed that “what God has for you it is for you.” Also, marriage isn’t something you enter into lightly so don’t rush it…As hard as it is to be patient remember that all things happen in due time [in His time, and if you truly believe that and keep the faith, you'll be fine]…so in the meantime, while you’re preparing for that wonderful person to come into your life, focus less on the perception of others, find a way to make YOURSELF happy, work on being a better you, and accept your decisions…
So are you still single? Who cares as long as you’re happy and content…keep moving forward…Love will find you!
B-E-Z
JNS
Posted on January 19, 2012 - by jennifer
Still Single? Why? Part 2
Before we bring this series to a close let’s further examine the first two questions I posed in Part 1 – Perception = Reality…But what is the reality and will a mate really make you happy?
Perception = Reality…But what is the REALity?
When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands, smiling at the world, do you stop and stare in envy at the appearance of joy or do you keep walking knowing that one day, you’ll be that picture of happiness? If you’re single you likely stop, sulk, pray and wish it was you walking with “your” special someone…So when I say perception = reality, I mean, what we see/perceive is our REALITY. For many people that appearance of bliss is their hope for “their” reality. And that image may be true but there is a saying that goes, believe half of what you see and none of what you hear…So while many people, places and things look wonderful on the outside, in actuality not everything that looks good is good. What single people should know is that although there are married couples who are happy and thriving, there are others who don’t even sleep in the same room or speak to one another when they awake in the morning. The fact is the divorce rate is 40-45% and expected to rise to 50% in the near future. I’m not trying to paint an awful, dreary picture of marriage because up to 60% of married people are together, making it work and many of them are in love with one another. All I’m saying is stop “oohing” and “ahhing” over facebook statuses, pictures that show the image of “the good life” and what you perceive to be happiness…allow it to find you instead of you searching for what it looks like…
Will a mate REALLY make you happy?
This is really a personal question that you’ll need to grapple with on your own time but truth of the matter is, many people don’t really know what will make them happy. And although no one wants to be alone there is such a difference between being alone and being lonely. Feeling lonely can be depressing and scary. Having someone in life to share good moments with and bring you through the bad times is important and necessary but it should not come at the risk of being in a damaging relationship or using a mate to fill a void of convenience because ultimately someone will get hurt.
It’s important for you to find your own happiness. Do things you enjoy and do them by yourself every once and while. Don’t become a complete loner but learn how to smile on your own. Having someone might help for a while but I doubt that you’ll be happy for the long haul…Figure out those things that WILL bring you peace and go for it…
Be assured that the next blog will complete this series, and you don’t want to miss it because I touch on and maybe even offend some of you who think you are and label yourself as “good” women/men. Stay tuned…
Peace!
JNS
Posted on January 10, 2012 - by jennifer
Still single? Why? – Part 1
Still single? Why? – Part 1
I was urged to write a blog entitled “why don’t men want a good woman” so… instead of that topic, I kept with the theme, somewhat, and decided to write about being single (or unmarried) and why…so this is for both men and women since in my opinion, everyone deals with the same types of issues as it relates to being “single.”
I’m single and reminded of that each time I need to fill out some sort of survey or application and I check the single/unmarried box. And I think especially for women, as we get older, checking this box can start to nag at the spirit and weaken our self-esteem. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t a few men who feel equally as uneasy about this status label but for ages women have been taught that we would grow up, meet some great guy to sweep us off our feet and then we’d live happily ever after. Unfortunately, we live in the real world and that fantasy is false (in most cases – hopefully there are still a few optimist in the world. ) But as I started writing this blog, I realized there were questions that I should be asking of everyone, including myself, as it relates to being single.
First of all, let me make a point or two, not everyone will get married. Some people will live blissfully together without ever having the ceremony or purchasing the rings…And that’s perfectly acceptable. But more importantly, I don’t think a person should be defined by whether or not they are married or single. Society, our families and peers do this enough, therefore defining yourself by your status will only put more pressure to live up to a standard that others have, which may not be who you are or where you are at the moment. It may also force you into a situation that might not last or will leave you seeking that which you should find naturally.
So there are a few thoughts/questions that I want you to ask and consider:
- Perception = Reality…But what is the REALity?
- Will a mate REALLY make you happy?
- How “good” are you?
- Why are you single?
Next time, we’ll dive a little deeper into a couple of the above bullets…Listen, I believe that everyone who wants to be married or wants that special someone will find him/her in due time but until then, just chill and enjoy the “single” ride while it lasts…Or at least until I publish Part 2 of this blog.
Peace my friends!
JNS