Posted on January 19, 2012 - by jennifer

Still Single? Why? Part 2

Before we bring this series to a close let’s further examine the first two questions I posed in Part 1 – Perception = Reality…But what is the reality and will a mate really make you happy?

 Perception = Reality…But what is the REALity?

When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands, smiling at the world, do you stop and stare in envy at the appearance of joy or do you keep walking knowing that one day, you’ll be that picture of happiness? If you’re single you likely stop, sulk, pray and wish it was you walking with “your” special someone…So when I say perception = reality, I mean, what we see/perceive is our REALITY. For many people that appearance of bliss is their hope for “their” reality. And that image may be true but there is a saying that goes, believe half of what you see and none of what you hear…So while many people, places and things look wonderful on the outside, in actuality not everything that looks good is good. What single people should know is that although there are married couples who are happy and thriving, there are others who don’t even sleep in the same room or speak to one another when they awake in the morning. The fact is the divorce rate is 40-45% and expected to rise to 50% in the near future. I’m not trying to paint an awful, dreary picture of marriage because up to 60% of married people are together, making it work and many of them are in love with one another. All I’m saying is stop “oohing” and “ahhing” over facebook statuses, pictures that show the image of “the good life” and what you perceive to be happiness…allow it to find you instead of you searching for what it looks like…

Will a mate REALLY make you happy?

This is really a personal question that you’ll need to grapple with on your own time but truth of the matter is, many people don’t really know what will make them happy. And although no one wants to be alone there is such a difference between being alone and being lonely. Feeling lonely can be depressing and scary. Having someone in life to share good moments with and bring you through the bad times is important and necessary but it should not come at the risk of being in a damaging relationship or using a mate to fill a void of convenience because ultimately someone will get hurt.

It’s important for you to find your own happiness. Do things you enjoy and do them by yourself every once and while. Don’t become a complete loner but learn how to smile on your own. Having someone might help for a while but I doubt that you’ll be happy for the long haul…Figure out those things that WILL bring you peace and go for it…

Be assured that the next blog will complete this series, and you don’t want to miss it because I touch on and maybe even offend some of you who think you are and label yourself as “good” women/men. Stay tuned…

Peace!

JNS